re : Let all the little children come

Let all the little children come

Could I add a few thoughts to this discussion? While I sympathise greatly with this mum I don't think this situation is a good one to draw generalised conclusions from.

https://theadditionalneedsblogfather.wordpress.com/2017/03/16/let-all-the-little-children-come-to-me/

For a start the incident happened in that wonderful but dreaded moment as the children and teachers file out. It seems to have come from well meaning spontenaity not planning. The other child (ie the wrong one) responded to the kind invitation. There appear to have been assumptions made on both sides. This mum is handling other very heavy things that aren't visible at first sight to the team, ie it could be pastorally not straight forward. A perfect storm. 

Then there were the errors on both sides. There appears to have been a helper who acted out of line with the policy of the team. The policy decision was communicated directly to the child so became a rejection, rather than in negotiation with the parent. There was no alternative offered to the child to compensate for the misunderstanding; like, you can come if you bring an adult with you, or here are some of the materials to play with back in the service, or even (desperate last resort) here's a sweetie, all of which the mum will treat as a sop or even an insult but which the child may remember as an act of kindness  ...

What an appalling situation!

As a special interest group you're doing your job by being outraged. Clearly this poor woman's got a lot on her hands, all the more so if the dad's sick. She needs to feel heard by us and backed up. One would hope that she or the leader could set in place a discussion between them and someone pastoral who could make sure there's perhaps a family visitor support put in place to help make friendship links with them and help communication on both sides. This could model conflict resolution strategies to the children for the future. If the father's ill there may well have been miscommunication on either side at the point of coming out of leadership or stopping church attendance and in my experience the sunday school and the children get caught in the middle. Incidentally I think leaders need specific guidance how to cope with ex leaders and prompting to set in place routines like automatically giving a thank you card and flowers or a box of chocolates to anyone coming out of leadership even when it's an act of protest; and having a "Grey Hair" group that meets as an annual think tank on general issues in the church to give recognition, respect and an outlet to those who have loads of experience but can't function in active leadership any more; having mature people who do a home visit with a questionaire to anyone known to have left the church to check if there are health reasons, misunderstandings etc. 

Having been on both sides of this sort of situation I feel both the pain of the mum but also know that Sunday morning, just as the children file out is the worst possible time to spring something new or tricky on a Sunday School leader. What on earth do you do ? There are rarely enough Sunday School teachers so a few willing individuals take the brunt but feel taken for granted by all and sundry. We use words like love and quote perfectly valid Bible verses but weary individuals on both sides wonder if this is what church should be and either become rigidly defensive or withdraw. 

I'm so glad that this group is working to protect the children who fall through the holes left in the net where we adults haven't thought things through or equipped ourselves adequately. How to defuse the pain and bitterness that blocks effective communication whilst not losing sight of the compassion rooted in love that powers the motor that moves for change ??!!!

The Lord's Prayer for the Very Worn

The Lord's Prayer for the Very Worn

Not me trying to think up something clever, this is how I pray. I'm too weary or muddle headed to think what to say, or even feel'like saying anything, so I go for wheat Jesus said to say, that's good enough for me. But if I just recite it my brain will be elsewhere by line 2 so I try to say it like I feel I can be more simple or at least in a way that makes me think about what it's saying. So it comes out different every time. 

Just come sit with me a moments quiet. I like to just feel myself listen a little moment and catch a couple of breaths.

Dear Father God, somehow both not tied down by our human limitations yet fully understanding them. You're really special to us regardless of what our feelings are or aren't doing today. 

We can't begin to understand how you'd do it, but we want your kingdom to come and your will to be done in our little time and space bubble, however limited it seems to us it still counts, whatever hills and valleys we go through today. Please give us the strength and clarity of thought to be able to make any key decisions if needed and the courage to be able to say no and yes, to understand your will as much as we need to for today. 

Please provide for us and our nearest and dearest, we throw and chuck our burdens onto you because you've said that you care or us. Thank you. 💕

We invite you into our thought lives today. We're not asking to have no pain but we really want the grace to be able to forgive and receive forgiveness. 

Please protect and strengthen us, we are weak and vulnerable even on the days we feel full of it, let alone how we are now. Please help us to find comfort in healthy ways and places. Give us the strength to be able to stand against the evil one and having done all, to stand. Is armour uncomfortable in bed ? Maybe not yours. May your peace, utterly incomprehensible given the circumstances, keep our hearts and minds in the love and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

I find it so hard to grasp about your kingship, some times everything seems on the surface so out of control, but I believe and continue to hang on to the fact that 

* you have the authority to do what you think best, 

* you have the power and the wherewithall to get it done, 

and 

* you will get the credit you deserve, glory to you King Jesus.

I agree most wholeheartedly. 

"Healing Miracles"

The Wind Blows Where It Wills

I've been thinking about the words of Jesus, "The wind blows where ever it pleases" (John 3v8), saying that the work of the spirit can't be put into our preconceived boxes. God can make someone born again, even if they're elderly. Not the traditional jewish way of going about things, poor old Nicodemus.

I've been thinking about this tendancy of God in the context of praying for healing. I spent many years in "charismatic" and "pentecostal" type churches where there can be an approach to this that is at the time both enthusiastic but also narrow.  It helps me to understand the limitations of this as compared with the whole breadth of God's working as displayed in the bible to realise that although God never leaves prayer unheared and he doesn't do nothing, but even by having faith we can't dictate to God how to act for the best. For the sake of simplicity I've called it all healing miracles but it's an intentionally loose and perhaps willingly provocative use of the term. 


I learned to sail with my brother when i was a kid. We had a little boat, a Mirror dingy to be precise. You have to keep looking at the little pennant at the top of the mast all the time to see the wind direction, then you move the sail and the rudder accordingly. Similarly there is always a wind sock at airports. Pilots need to be able to read the wind strength and direction. So too we need to keep our spirits sensitive to watch for the wind of the spirit (or listen for the voice of the shepherd to change picture). He doesn't do things just to rules, but to needs. He sees a much bigger picture than we do.

"The gifts of the spirit are for all those who have need" 1 Corinthians 12.

* God may do a healing miracle. Disease is banished, death is prevented for the time being.

* God could also do a setting free from fear of death miracle so we can depart in peace when our end does have to come. Our end of life story, even if untimely, makes a fitting hem to the garment that was our earthly existance and the memory we leave behind.

* God may do a giving family/friends/neighbours the time and will miracle so they look after their sick one (although I have questions about the theology and possibility of divine coercion as such, perhaps prompting would be a better word). I suspect that this is what those weakened by age, disease or disability dream of most. None of us would want to be a nuisance, but most would cherish the loving, loyal, thoughtful help of a trusted human being. We're designed to trigger the release of all sorts of helpful hormones when we have even seemingly trivial ammounts of contact with others, it's an amazing mutual healing system if only we access it. Loneliness, feelings of abandonment or betrayal can render a difficult or painful life far far worse than it needed to be. Likewise, even small gestures of sharing the burden of caring can help avoid the damage that can be done to lone helpers.

* God might do a provision of medication, equipment or a trained health worker miracle. All the financial provision as well as suitable and just administration that are links in this chain.

* God may act by a getting someone to study, research, find a cure, get it into production at an affordable price and find a sponsor to pay for it all miracle.

* God may give a word of knowledge or wisdom miracle to provide insight into the cause of the disease so that it can be halted or prevented.

* God may instigate a repentance miracle so abuse or neglect cease. He may also stir up communities and law makers to institute justice and protection and provision for the vulnerable. 

* God may do an inner healing miracle so that self neglect or abuse habits are replaced by a healthier inner life.

* God may do a forgiveness miracle so that bitterness no longer eats at our health. He may also stir us up to provide adequate justice so that victims may have healing recognition and compensation.

* God may provide story tellers and educators who can dispel superstitions, prevent ostracism, expose and avoid exploitation of those in need, enable public health guidlines, hygiene, quarantine. These too have miraculous effects.

Same sicknesses, all get a desired miracle effect. No "one size fits all" solutions, all perfectly tailored to us if we listen and don't hurry to give hasty easy answer advice. 

I have observed and experienced the beneficial effects of prayer, both public and privateand seen God at work. The power and strengthening of his presence with me has been such a consolation and reassurance. I have also experienced the blessing of Christians loving and giving, practical acts which to me are no less spiritual or miraculous. Likewise social justice as well as charitable movements that led to things like the foundation of hospitals, (let alone much worse things than simple illness, like prison reform, anti-slavery etc) It seems to me such action is ordered in the bible just as much as working in the supernatural, if not more so, the different approaches working hand in hand. 

I have observed that in Christian circles we can do a lot of damage if we try to force the gameplan for one person onto someone else just because their circumstances appear to us to be similar. God knows what ignorant and thoughtless attitudes some people have had to cope with in the name of well meaningness not deliberate malice ! I saw my friend publicly humiliated by a preacher praying for her knees and wanting to get out of her wheelchair and walk. She was gracious about it afterwards, but as she said to me, "Liz, these knees are plastic, I don't know what he was expecting." Of course that's an extreme example. I don't want us to stop praying for healing, I'm still an all out fan despite not having had "the biggie". 

So what "miracle" do I want ? If you're praying for my family what should you ask for ?

Of course I'd love for my daughters and I to be well and to be able to resume a normal life, but there are other, bigger things I'm holding out for. When people have said they'll pray for us to be healed I'd have loved them to ask God what quite to pray, what might be asked of them, or maybe if I'm thinking cynically, I think that's what some might be avoiding. I know how scary hearing about us, the chronically sick, can be. We can be taken to represent everyone's nightmare scenario, huge loss or pain but with out the cut off point of an operation or the release of death (even if we see that as the ultimate failure instead of an ultimate healing).

I believe my generation has to seek for public health measures to deal with the epidemic of this neurological disease which has been variously labelled Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Myalgic Encephomyelitis, Fibromyalgia, Lyme disease, Post Viral Syndrome, Psychosomatisation, and who knows what other coinfections, bodily and emotional damage are implicated too. I want proper biomedical research to find treatments. I want the public denunciation of the charlatans who have taken advantage of the vulnerable to further their careers and fortunes, for them to be deposed from their positions of power and replaced by responsible and iintelligent medics and public servants. I want adequate training for professionals, support for carers, understanding for the sick, allowance for convalescence, public education for prevention measures. 

"Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer."

NB Some of these works may take more than one generation to fulfill. For so many instant wish fulfillment isn't an option, even in the context of a "miracle believing" church. However some of us have the amazing "luck" to have been born into a time and place where many of our wants are gratified. We eat our fill, several times a day, a balanced and interesting diet. We have access to pain relief, antibiotics, radiotherapy, the list is endless. Many of us have a truly remarkable life expectancy. We're very rich, in relative terms. In attributing some things to miracles, to direct divine intervention, I'm not wanting to rule out human endeavour, rather the opposite. Maybe the sort of public health and social structure issues adressed in the old testament, if wisely applied of course, could contribute substantially to the general health of a community. For example the levitical instructions for contageous diseases all include quarantine and washing, checking with an impartial official who is paid on a prorata rate per intervention not on it's outcome. For example the tradition of gleaning, leaving the edges of a harvest for the destitute to collect. For example the legal obligation to give every man, woman, child, foreigner, even slaves one full day in seven as rest, plus public holidays and to leave land fallow at least one in seven years. 

Maybe humble hearts, grateful attitudes and thoughtful tongues could contribute significantly to our well being and a fruitful prayer life. 

Back to prayer, although i don't feel I quite left it...