Digger Drivers

Digger Drivers

They remade the road not far from my flat

I watched from the windows while sipping my tea

They relaid the piping for water and gas

And rewired us for electricity

I wandered at how the old lane was revamped

First into a mud pie then slowly appeared

The freshly laid tarmac and newly lit lamps

And after the white lines the mess was all cleared

But what left me mystified, joyed and amazed

Was not the end product, be that understood

But the skill of the drivers of heavy machines

Who made acrobatic the movement of mud

The diggers like swans, swooping beaks to the waves

Swirling and wheeling, graceful, precise,

Coordinate gestures in poetic staves

Like Torville and Dean, the earth serving for ice

The road is now quiet, the workmen have gone

The speed bumps are laid where holes once had been

But I saw the dance of the lake and the swan

With an earth excavator the star of the scene

Liz Figures France January 2006

Provision

Thank you for being honest ! Yes God provides. But our testimony might not be as glossy as we would want, as we think other people's experience is. We think a miracle should just drop out of the sky without any visible source when in fact often it's the result of someone's generosity and hard work. We lived strapped for cash for many years but we never went hungry, but we ate some pretty odd things right from the back of the cupboard sometimes and I could make quite a lot of spaghetti sauce with just 2 burgers. We usually had a car, but once we drove past the scrap heap and saw not one, not two but three of our old cars on the tops of heaps. We have any number of car miracle stories, don't get me started ! We were living like most of the world lives, near the edge. God provided, but I couldn't waste one halfpenny. We did car sharing, house sharing, hand me on clothes, free entertainment. I'm so grateful for so much generosity shown to us. The children don't remember it as unhappy at all. I remember it as wearing, like it is for everyone else who is struggling to make ends meet, living like most of the world lives, near the edge. The problem is we get distorted views of what is the norm.

A rather nice little twist to our story is that after getting to rock bottom a few years ago when our health went too, the church we were helping fell apart, we got into debt - then God gave one of those quiet faith words and we knew without worrying that he was going to provide work. He did. Then various things. Since that point despite now being housebound invalids we actually have savings !

I think the key is involving God in the equation. We asked God to provide for us and were very grateful for what he gives. But we also had to include him when we have, not just when we lack. It might be that someone is not seeing God's provision because some of us are not including God's priorities in the budget when we have got the money.

Marriage notes

Some jottings on teaching on sex and marriage

May I contribute a little something around the various passages that are commonly used to teach about sex and marriage, and underlying that, gender roles.

The first thing is that those teaching will unconsciously pass on their own biases both cultural and theological. It could be helpful to have a teacher manual to work through a more complex background to the more simplified presentation. My observation is that possibly some of those who invest in additional needs children will highly develop their skill set in that domain and might not have the spare to develop a critical (in a positive sense) and deeper current biblical study approach to wider issues like this, so could rely on a more traditionally stereotyped “christianese” narrative in their own background.

I love some of the far sighted study going on in these areas some of it rooted in the work of self confessed nerds (look at the intro to The Jesus Scandals by Innes who has a couple of excellent marriage chapters, or the women blogs by Marg Mowczko to name 2 of the more accessible sources I love) who are pedantic enough to go into the detail of what the bible says below our own cultural assumptions.

Second, to echo what’s already been said, and as you already know, little and often communicates better on issues that are so deeply rooted in society. For example teaching on ‘husbands love your wives as christ loved the church and gave himself for her’ will mean nothing in practice as long as the cultural practice of allowing boys to interrupt girls in class, letting a boy who has his hand up speak more often than the girls, paying more attention to boys opinions, modelling only male leadership, far more women than men having poor self image in society (presumably including amongst the teachers themselves), boys given power roles and toys and girls service ones, teaching young girls how to avoid rape but not teaching young boys to not rape. It may seem self evident but building mutually esteeming habits into classroom/family/church life and routines is the best way of ensuring healthier marriage and sexual practices.

Paul’s marriage teaching in Eph 5 is a natural extension of the emphasis of the whole letter about healthy outworking relationship with God and others. Eph 5 says everyone love like Jesus loves and submit to one another. He then illustrates that teaching point with 3 situations where it might be extra hard. Within the marriage, in the family and in the workplace (using the most extreme example of master slave relations).

Teaching the husband wife relationship without that context has been used to further the distortion of this beautiful teaching and if those teaching aren't fully free themselves from the cultural bondage they’ll unwittingly pass it on.

This is quite an intrusive concept to impose on the amazing generous loving people who give so willingly of their time, energies, devotion but to me it’s fundamental to what we model to children, even more so to youngsters who may never gain enough ‘distance’ to question it. How do women and men talk to each other in front of them? That’s what they’ll copy. In an ideal world the whole church would invest in this apprenticeship. Well, ok, it’s a dream.

So to the specifics about bible discipleship in the area of sex and marriage for the additional needs.

I’d suggest that it could be wise to tackle in at least 3 stages.

1. Gender roles
2. Sex, not just the prevention of
3. What is or should be marriage a) romance b) a pragmatic approach to the survival of women and children

The idea of separating sex and marriage would be with the aim to reduce the idea that marriage is just legalised sexuality with the ensuing disillusionment when the novelty and youthfulness wears off.

Gender roles is obv an underlying teaching in every bible story we tell as all is about human relationships.  Given our preference for teaching the more sensationalist stories to children as they’re much easier and more fun to communicate many of the women’s stories don’t get told or the women’s roles get subsumed into a wider more male whole. This isn’t the place to go into that.

I’d just like to mention Proverbs 31 the ideal woman, that’s probably not on a sunday school programme but a distortion of it may be in the background of how adults behave.

I love her. She’s nobility, what a ruler should look for. She’s allowed to dress like a disney princess in fine clothes but she’s not to lay in bed till midday stuffing her face just being waited on but is a skilled and astute manager, business woman, clearly trusted by her husband to manage the family and business while he has a public service role as a magistrate. I think she’s awesome. She’s not a skivvy for men, though she does get up just as early as the staff.

I’d like her to be balanced with the Song of Songs lady who is clearly highly desirable and is making the most of her talents since the writer can describe all her body without clothes on!

That’s a good frank place to start talking about sex too in my opinion. No lying on your back thinking of empire. No entitlement either. Something completely reciprocal, beautiful, based on mutual appreciation and enjoyment.

And of course the being able to love yourself part of ‘love as you love yourself’, psalm 139 ‘I’m wonderfully made’, and role model God in Zephaniah singing over her with love.

And that odd refrain in the S of S  about the daughters of Jerusalem not waking love till it’s ready however one should interpret that? Perhaps wait till you’re old enough, don’t use porn, don’t oversexualise young girls or boy girl friendships …? I explicitly told my daughters they could be friends with any boys and other girls in their class were jealous as certain boys had been earmarked as belonging to other girls (9 year olds!) as boyfriends *sigh*

As far as marriage goes in the bible I find it very matter of fact and doesn’t judge the arranged marriage even though the romantic marriage is an ideal.

As an example of a romance I love the story of Michal and David. She’s the best friend’s little sister. He’s the drop dead gorgeous new guy in the court. I’m certain this biographic detail comes directly from her. That he’s offered the older sister by the dad as a status gift, but he refuses. He refuses! But later he accepts when it’s her. I think she’s devoted to him for the rest of her life and as first wife (and one of the few remaining points of contact with his dead best friend) she’d have had a place at the main table for life, along with their nephew Mephibosheth. And look at the terrible grief and regret she faced that she judged David when he reverted to seemingly juvenile or tribal behaviour dancing in the procession when they were more dignified these days, having strived to build up the kingship from nothing against initial priestly disapproval and the humiliation of her father’s behaviour.

Yet at the same time Michal is matter of fact about David taking most of his other wives, the early ones at least, (maybe she’s scathing about the “hundreds” of others and concubines). I think she became friends with at least one hence all the detail about Abigail, her amazing prophecy to David to keep him on track in the outlaw days, David taking on the provision for and protection of this woman who saved him from a regrettable action.

I’m really not into polygamy personally but these two relationships do make a very good example to teach from using highly tellable stories.

I think teaching about marriage from the bible can be complicated because at bottom it’s a culturally dictated legal contract. A lot of the bible law and examples are landowner nobility in a highly agricultural economy. Inheritance matters big way. Once land passes into foreign hands it’s lost. Once family lands are divided it becomes really complicated to farm.

However I find it interesting looking at what’s dictated in other scenarios. In Ex 209-11 there are guidelines for if an owner’s son likes one of the slaves he can marry her, can’t just drop her if he then likes someone else, must carry on giving her food, clothing and marital rights and what speaks to me is she gets full rights as a daughter which suggests that these are things that would be taken for granted in a more equal social pairing ie so form the basis requirements of a marriage alliance. As far as I’m aware they also made the grounds where a divorce could be allowed. Also worth noting that Jesus substitutes divorce for the death penalty in the case of adultery. All grounds included in British divorce law under unreasonable behaviour.

Also law trumps romance in the example in Deut 21v16 it’s the first wife’s son not the favourite who inherits.

I see a lot of OT law as protective of women who historically until the last century and nearly worldwide would struggle to survive in many settings without male support. (Though there are notable exceptions when it comes to cities, yay for Rahab, and one example in Numbers when the daughters of a man were allowed to inherit when there was no male heir, but not allowed to marry outside the family so the lands wouldn’t be lost). My feelings don’t come into the matter, that’s just how it was. A pastor we knew who worked in remote villages in Nigeria had all sorts of challenges when women came to the Lord and were thrown out by family. There’s little or no work for a lone woman except as witches or prostitutes.

Even the importance of having a son was provision for his mother. If the father dies she’d still be able to live on the land and it not be parcelled out to other relatives and her potentially kicked out.

It strikes me oh so forcibly that over and over again the judgements against Israel were because they didn’t look after manless women and children. I think our social security system is such a blessing in that respect.

On a more idealistic level there's Priscilla and Aquilla the apostolic couple who were clearly both involved in the ministry.

And of course last but definitely not least is Christ and the church. I have found little helpful detail to help work out about our marriages as the pictures change in Revelation so the person on a white horse with a red robe who has King of Kings and Lord of Lords written on him as well as Word of God and Faithful and true becomes a lamb and the bride is the city dressed as a bride. The Ephesians 5 reference to the bride is about Christ helping her have beauty/health treatments so she'll be at her tip top best when he presents her to his father. I think allegorising this to talk about holiness issues and husbands would be to stretch the parallel to an unworkable illogical conclusion.

As an additional note I think it could be helpful to point out that not all the words translated as love in the bible refer to erotic love. Seems so obvious but fluffy area lingusitically for the more literal. Infact I'm not even sure if sex is translated as love at all. The main 2 as you well know are brotherly love which is usually qualified by the word brotherly even though it means everyone, it's an adjective, love like brothers and agape which of course is notoriously hard to define and isn't the subject here, says she ducking out of that one. 

Not losing our faith

How not to lose my faith when I can’t get to church regularly - some thoughts and memories.

Wish I had a magic wand for this one. Don’t listen to pat answers, they don’t come near the dilemma.

The theory. In an ideal world it's up to the church to come to us. Visiting the sick is a sheep and goats issue.

It’s no secret that in real life this doesn’t always happen. It’s not always a priority in church life. That’s the whole reason for this group (Additional Needs Alliance) needing to exist. The theory’s exactly the same for the parents and other needies who can't get to 'do church', we need inclusion too..

* PLEASE NOTE I think church is part of the 3 pronged biblical prescription for those in need. The other 2 being family and society. This is about when we've fallen through the holes of that safety net. I believe in marriage even though I'm divorced, I still believe in church even though I can't 'do' 4 walls church at the moment.

Although it’s 'sending coals to Newcastle' to say it, I feel our evangelical theology emphasises personal salvation as a spiritual event, (as it needed to in the past to counterbalance equally unbalanced teaching about earning or paying for it). However, as with every pendulum swing I don't think it's balanced and neglects to adequately take into account the community care elements already present in the OT law and reinforced in both the gospels and the letters. Outworked in examples such as the very first full timers appointed by the blossoming new church in Acts being the best and most spiritual men appointed to do … meals on wheels!

So how has my faith survived in the absence of adequate church?

Not blaming those who’ve overlooked us and misunderstood has to be key. (Doesn’t exclude actively fighting to put those wrongs right for others though). Goodness, I’ve been pretty busy and preoccupied with my own affairs in the past. I get it, well sort of. The bits we did was nothing like enough compared with what we could have done so there’s no point throwing stones. If I want to have my own debts written off by God I shall have to write off some that others owe me. F Learning from experience without becoming cynical … how on earth do we juggle that. Lol

Unfortunately we were in churches that, although brilliant in so many ways, offered healing prayer but little understanding of the crippling effects of chronic illness and how precious it is to us to be understood and cared for. We would have been perfectly happy with the odd phone call or an old fashioned letter or two, any little gesture of kindness. But their kindness, which had been generous before, didn’t seem to extend beyond where our usefulness dropped off. In real terms it's 13 years since any of us 3 have been able to get to a church service, once unthinkable to avid activists like us.

* ADDITIONAL NOTE forgiveness helps in the healing process but it does not in my experience completely get rid of all PTSD from damaging encounters, with Christians, medical services, family etc who have given hurtful experiences for what ever reason. PTSD is a physiological as well as psychological pathology, a condition caused by shock. When it's from repeated incidents it's logically of greater impact. It will have effects on my faith to the degree that it is linked with authority figures in general and Christians in particular.

ALSO NOTE I may be divorced but I still believe in marriage, I may be out of 4 walls church but I still believe in church. Some of my difficulties came from confused communication and misunderstandings, some of them my fault, some from others, some from society's understanding (not) of my particular illness.

Not blaming God for the church’s shortcomings is another, as is true for all of us feeling excluded whatever the reason. It’s not his fault. He gives us clear guidelines on caring for those who are the weakest in society, and he even judged his chosen people the most harshly cos they didn’t (am I alone in loving Amos for that reason? Women getting out of baskets and so on may seem weird imagery, but the severe indictments at the end of each section on neglecting or abusing the needy are unambiguous!).

So on the positive side?

The stock answers are keeping up prayer and Bible reading. If I’m totally honest I had the best part of a decade where I scarcely read my Bible, and prayer as one might recognise the evangelical Quiet Time didn’t happen. Sorry to have let the side down, not.

First and foremost before either of them comes ...

Hanging on. Sometimes it feels by our fingernails. A key thought, not a dead mantra, but up the same street as that idea, my hope thought. I know this is silly but the image in my head is of Peter Pan needing a happy thought in in order to be able to fly. It uses the helpful elements of mindfulness too. The mind discipline of avoiding unhelpful thought patterns and determinedly choosing what may be the steep narrow path (but includes the best views of course) by, at certain times when appropriate, clinging onto something beautiful, hopeful, positive or maybe just simply real. I associate it partly with lead us not into temptation too. Also with avoiding overthinking, fears, negative cycles. Must be associated with being real about pain, anger, hurt though or it’s just avoidance. It’s my bottom line coping strategy.

I’m envious of other people’s achievements, freedoms, comforts. I revert to, yes I am, but I couldn’t live with myself if I hadn’t made the life choices I have. I’m exhausted, sore, lonely, feeling sorry for myself. Yes I am, but ditto.

That’s my personal faith safety net. You know like rock climbers climb a bit then put their rope through a metal loop driven into the rock. Then if the fall they’ll only fall a little way, not all the way to the bottom. That’s one of my hooks.

Another is we may be ‘unhealed’ but God’s answered so many many prayers along the way and there’s not been a day where I didn’t know his presence with us, therefore I know he’s not abandoned us and we’re not out of his will.

I let myself dangle a bit, I rally and get going again.

Sometimes it’s a verse. ‘my grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness’ along with others from 2 Corinthians have made a tiny ledge I’ve kept my finger ends in till I can find a better foothold again.

Sometimes it’s a song. Of all the hundreds and thousands of songs and hymns I’ve known and often led, a particular type of memory loss means I remember very few. But one bottom line song is one I sang as a child on the CSSM beach missions, Wide Wide as the Ocean. And just one from church, More Love, More Power.

It’s bottom line, safety net stuff. The energy drink when spiritually we could really have done with meat and two veg, preferably with gravy. It’s the arrow prayer. God help us. What can we do? The grateful thought before being whisked along again or dropping straight into urgent sleep.

As far as the Bible goes I relied very heavily on what I’d read in the past, which I’m grateful was a lot, (not cos of any great virtue of mine but through simple passionate curiosity, I needed to know what happens next, who said what, why, including sitting on my bed gripped when I should have been revising for exams, woops). I ended up thinking through, very slowly in rare spare moments. Mulling over, picturing, imagining. Passages came very alive to me as I became more distanced from the fast pace of church life. The fit and active need new things, more things. I chewed on bits slowly for years. The Lord’s Prayer and The Shepherd psalm of course in the worst times, Ruth living with a MiL with a clinical depression, the ups and downs of Queen Michal’s marriage to her teenage heart throb the drop dead gorgeous (narcissistic?) new kid on the block David, the joys and heartbreak in Paul’s relationship with the crazy wonderful fizzing silly thoughtless Corinthians.


* NOTE Since being able to read again what's helped more than sermons, that have more 'ought tos' than I can sometimes cope with, is reading the bible in a modern translation and going through it like a novel like I did at first. Identifying with the humans in it. Daily readings have to be carefully chosen now as I just can't be doing with platitudes and sentimentality. Jeff Lucas was a lifesaver, his Life Everyday lived on a nail in the toilet and made snatched common sense real human, common sense theology sustenance for many years.

Prayer, well I’ve blogged elsewhere about my oasis experiences in an otherwise desertic time. Getting to rock bottom misery, inadvertently triggered by a newly fashionable Britney Spears singing “the loneliness is killing me” when she clearly isn’t lonely but surrounded by friends. The prayer picture of a pair of big strong worn farmers hands cupped round a fragile chick. The ‘practicing the presence’ of bringing to mind, being aware of, glimpses of presence. An underlying certainty that I’ve identified with ‘keep’ as in the keep of the castle, that having prayed and handed over I was having my heart and mind kept in the love and knowledge of God,  the utterly mystifying peace of God, totally illogical given the circumstances (Phil 4). I now associate that feeling of being held with words like trust, hope (in God, not circumstances), faith, rejoicing. I’m grateful to say I had it even through periods of pain, discouragement, sadness, loss and depression! It seems to be highly linked with out of the box big picture prayer, holding out empty and needy hands groans, too weary even for words aches.

* NOTE, that season is over. I’m back to having to read and study, and I have days and weeks when the cloud ceiling blocks all signs of the sun and I question everything, but everything. That’s ok, that’s being part of the human race and I’m not going to suddenly give up on God who has so faithfully stuck by me.

NOTE  Fruit of the Spirit.

Leads on from recognising, inviting, the presence of God, abiding in the vine etc.  Dealing with anger by facing it not burying it. Humility, gentleness, kindness don’t mean we have to be wet dishcloths or doormats. We've found gifts of the spirit aren't just for meetings but are for 'each as we have need' and we've experienced all sorts. However the need to stay open to outside judgement and advice on these remains as in 1 Cor 14.

Rest. Taking the time I need. The reassurance of the verse in Isaiah 40, ‘he gently leads those who have young’ (when the conquering army who took them off into exile clearly hadn’t been gentle with anyone) showing that God’s demands on me were not those that other humans, or even my own expectations, while I was sick and had my progressively more sick daughters in my care. This took me a long time to get into and I maybe did unnecessary damage along the way due to my determination/pride not to be a mother hen or a weak woman, my fear of being left out, my dislike of missing out on both opportunities and obligations.

* NOTE It must include other aspects of self care but sometimes having a sabbath, one day off in 7 seems despairingly impossible. Fighting for respite, even though we know it’s hard for our carees to have the less personalised help of others, is a distasteful choice we have to make. I’ve ended up having the doctor put me in convalescence hospital leaving the home to all sorts of lopsided hippity hoppity arrangements because I couldn’t get anything regular in place before the damage was done. Far from ideal.

I think there can be strong links between how we are well being wise and how we perceive God, faith, partners, self, just about anyone really. Statistically most long term carers will have periods of depression. Just the constant drip of the wonderful but caustic coping hormone cortisol will wear on our lovely finely tuned neurological communication systems if there aren’t adequate respite periods for the inflammation to cool down.

As for adequate life hygiene like sleep, laughter, singing, washing, nutrition, earning, walking, listening, talking, rituals, spontaneity, all the rest. Goes without saying. Costly. Can’t get them adequately. There are consequences.

Fellowship. Seems odd to include this as it’s precisely because we can’t get to church we’re in this pickle.

Often the initiative is left up to us to call in pastoral visits in denominations that offer this. I think we shouldn’t stand on ceremony and should wade in and get this going asap. My lovely MiL loved loved her vicar’s visits.

Availing ourselves of the blessing of internet to communicate and find like minded souls. Some of us can’t manage face to face contacts due to health or exhaustion issues. I don’t think this is second best. I do think reliance on it is unhealthy when we could do otherwise and chose not to. That’s another issue isn’t it. I have at various times created or been invited into small secret facebook groups that have helped me a lot. Not all of them Christian, but human contact is so vital for our growth I think we need places to be vulnerable and to give and receive of all sorts. Feeding our humanisty also helps our faith survive.

If the biblically ordained support services of family, community and church don’t come up with the goods my need for humans is too great to sit on my pride. If what I’ve got available is hastily exchanged words with the post lady and grocery delivery man plus 2 very poorly daughters, that’s what I’ll make the most of. I’ve become a Forest Gumpess. I’ll talk to anyone anywhere. Who knows if a few friendly words about the weather in a supermarket queue or on a miscellaneous facebook post is going to be what someone else was thirsty for as much as I was. (If you find it intrusive dear reader, please just ignore me and scroll quietly on, that’s where I’m coming from.)

Self Image. Self care and positivity can be just pious hopes when we’re in the thick of it. As wearers of greying frayed underwear and greying frayed feelings the thought of a relaxing bath or night out can pie in the sky and wishing us that can sometimes be thoughtless. Like saying go well and be at peace without helping to someone who is hungry or without shelter.

But I felt my self image needed to be good and artificially saying nice things felt like lying. I’ve needed to face up to the horrid bits, allow myself the odd 5 minutes of self pity, well, enough to be able to allow myself to cry occasionally (not a frequent practice in my own little rigid personal rules).

I decided that instead of feeling excluded from my old profession and activities I was learning a new one. Pharmacist. First aider (gone bonkers). Nutritionist. Carer. Manager of a small convalescence hospital. Quartermaster. Liaison and personnelle officer. Secretarial and administrative support officer. Chief financial officer. Counsellor, psychiatrist, sociologist, dogsbody, mediator, gatekeeper, advocate, taxi, inventor, diplomat, protester, researcher, skivvy and general mr fixit.

Sense of purpose. I’m not an abandoned by God but a beloved. I had a little fantasy daydream of God creeping out of a dull or boisterous or pompous meeting to come sit with me and keep us company (not that he really has to choose one or the other of course, just gratifying my self pity). I’m a chosen and I have choices.

Lots of people the world over end up with a life they’d never have chosen. I make choices in the areas I can. My self identity is one of those. So is my life choice to keep on caring.

Though I miss being part of that church world and all the other worlds I can’t be part of, when it boils down to it if I knew I’d chosen other than what I’ve chosen, if I’d said gratifying those needs is more important than my sick kids’ welfare, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself without splitting off a whole part of me.

Whatever gainsayers may gainsay, I can sleep at peace with my conscience, (however much or little sleep I get). Choices may be costly but I’m not going to compromise my faith by making the choices I have done even if church attendance or other ‘sacraments’ are made out by some to be vital for faith. They are  very valuable but not a be all and end all. Defiant talk. I’ve had to defy.

Hope there's something useful here.

Hell

Some thoughts about what the bible probably really says about hell, an info dump on what I've read in the bible and what I've been finding out about translation into Elizabethan English then into 21st century English.


I think everyone should question the image of "Hell" that's been sold us, especially christians. The medieval picture of satan toasting people just isn't in the bible.

Lots of words that don't mean hell as we know it are translated that way.

The main words Sheol and Hades just mean the unknown, or unseen. Others are just grave, hole in the ground (pit), ie a synonym for death, or The End of What We've Known So Far. Not Hell as we know it at all. The germanic old english word "hell" just means covered, hidden, including afterlife but without specific attributes. It might have been an ok translation hundreds of years ago.

But, and it's a big but, Jesus did talk about something that we should translate as something like hell. Gehenna, the Jerusalem rubbish dump and incineration place. A big ravine where refuse was thrown and what the worms didn't dispose of methane fires burnt. 

In all but one times he's talking to Pharisees. They believed that ordinary people would be disposed of, all Jews would all be saved to go to an unending banquet as spectators, and they the 'wise ones' would get seats at the table. 

Jesus put the kaibosh on their ideas of superiority and judgementalism by telling them they'd be having to answer individually for their behaviour. 

The picture is of the lord of the manor having been away on an unpredictably long business trip or war. When he gets home he'll sit in front of the crowd on a dias, pay debts, check on the behaviour of workers in his absence and pay unpaid wages or punish accordingly, judge unresolved court cases, and finally honour his betrothal agreement (childhood arranged marriage) with a wedding and great feast. 

As you've seen on your travels traditional Mediterranean land owners' homes have a large courtyard with a big gate in the wall that would be locked at night like towns  policed by Sam Vimes lol. Inside is lit with lamps and warmed with fires. Outside it's dark with stray dogs, wild animals and undesirables etc The stewards would chuck debtors etc out and lock the gates for however many days the celebrations were to last. Those who refused the invite, however rashly, would be outside anyway. Then their remains would soon end up on the dump like any carrion, stray, beggar or criminal. 

However to ordinary folk who'd been on the receiving end of the harsh and legalistic judgementalism Jesus told stories about lost sheep, mislaid dowry coins or prodigal sons being found, finding treasure, amazing seed that finds good soil and so on. Still individual responsibility for your life, but as opposed to the mass condemnation they'd lived with. They knew they were "sinners"*, didn't they just know it, they had their noses constantly rubbed in it, now they were being told they were valuable, loved and that the kingdom of God is for their present not just the inaccessible future reward of the self righteous.

Same difference in what angle is preached to whom in history. On one side the message of the Reformation said you can't buy your way out of responsibility. Ditto the message preached in American Revivals was to comfortable self satisfied judgementalistic paternalistic church goers, get on and repent! 

On the other hand was The Salvation Army movement which preached individual repentance true, but then put everything they had into helping the poor be able to make something of themselves cos they were loved and valuable. Like the Methodist movement that at it's origins said that the poor and labourers aren't rubbish, you can respond to God in your own right, no one's condemned out of hand and the ordinary should be helped to learn to read the bible for themselves and make up their own minds, make their own careers, and even be allowed to preach in their own chapels. Just saying that labourours were capable of learning to read and preach was radical.

Horses for courses. One side of the coin for the complacent, the other side, albeit of the same coin, for those who need no reminding they're "sinners*" but who need to be told they're valuable and can make valid decisions about their own lives. 

*There again there's a modern linguistic problem. Synne is an archery term which everyone, just everyone would have known up till fairly recent centuries, just as few Brits wouldn't know what an LBW or own goal or off side represents. It's when an archer's hand slips on the bow, and instead of the arrow singing through the air and hitting the target with a satisfying thud, it does a belly flop on the grass. The crowd would jeer and boo. 

That's why the Jewish believers in Rome are told "All have synned and fallen short of the glory of God" " The wages of synne is death (The End, ie no banquet) but the free gift God is eternal life". They would have been furious that their race and their legalism wasn't enough. (Makes me very angry when that message is distorted and hurled at shopping center crowds indiscriminately)

There is one reference in Revelation to Eternal Punishment in a special "lake of fire" fuelled to keep burning with sulphur reserved for Satan and his messangers ("angels", greek angleos, messanger, envoy). It might be that slave traders and others end up there. 

But there's a lot of allegorical language so interpreting one bit literally and another as allegory is dodgy in my book. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, just means we have'to be careful what we assert. 

NB A powerful rider to all of it - Jesus said with the judgement you judge others you will be judged. (Flip side of him saying treat others as you'd like them to treat you, love your neighbour as you love yourself). Also Jesus makes it clear that the Judge will be totally fair. Might not be what we expected but it will be completely individually tailored. Not so much in the comfortable West, but people who've been exploited and abused take great comfort that although they've not had justice in this life by other humans, that God has seen their abusers at work and is even angrier than they are. 

re : Let all the little children come

Let all the little children come

Could I add a few thoughts to this discussion? While I sympathise greatly with this mum I don't think this situation is a good one to draw generalised conclusions from.

https://theadditionalneedsblogfather.wordpress.com/2017/03/16/let-all-the-little-children-come-to-me/

For a start the incident happened in that wonderful but dreaded moment as the children and teachers file out. It seems to have come from well meaning spontenaity not planning. The other child (ie the wrong one) responded to the kind invitation. There appear to have been assumptions made on both sides. This mum is handling other very heavy things that aren't visible at first sight to the team, ie it could be pastorally not straight forward. A perfect storm. 

Then there were the errors on both sides. There appears to have been a helper who acted out of line with the policy of the team. The policy decision was communicated directly to the child so became a rejection, rather than in negotiation with the parent. There was no alternative offered to the child to compensate for the misunderstanding; like, you can come if you bring an adult with you, or here are some of the materials to play with back in the service, or even (desperate last resort) here's a sweetie, all of which the mum will treat as a sop or even an insult but which the child may remember as an act of kindness  ...

What an appalling situation!

As a special interest group you're doing your job by being outraged. Clearly this poor woman's got a lot on her hands, all the more so if the dad's sick. She needs to feel heard by us and backed up. One would hope that she or the leader could set in place a discussion between them and someone pastoral who could make sure there's perhaps a family visitor support put in place to help make friendship links with them and help communication on both sides. This could model conflict resolution strategies to the children for the future. If the father's ill there may well have been miscommunication on either side at the point of coming out of leadership or stopping church attendance and in my experience the sunday school and the children get caught in the middle. Incidentally I think leaders need specific guidance how to cope with ex leaders and prompting to set in place routines like automatically giving a thank you card and flowers or a box of chocolates to anyone coming out of leadership even when it's an act of protest; and having a "Grey Hair" group that meets as an annual think tank on general issues in the church to give recognition, respect and an outlet to those who have loads of experience but can't function in active leadership any more; having mature people who do a home visit with a questionaire to anyone known to have left the church to check if there are health reasons, misunderstandings etc. 

Having been on both sides of this sort of situation I feel both the pain of the mum but also know that Sunday morning, just as the children file out is the worst possible time to spring something new or tricky on a Sunday School leader. What on earth do you do ? There are rarely enough Sunday School teachers so a few willing individuals take the brunt but feel taken for granted by all and sundry. We use words like love and quote perfectly valid Bible verses but weary individuals on both sides wonder if this is what church should be and either become rigidly defensive or withdraw. 

I'm so glad that this group is working to protect the children who fall through the holes left in the net where we adults haven't thought things through or equipped ourselves adequately. How to defuse the pain and bitterness that blocks effective communication whilst not losing sight of the compassion rooted in love that powers the motor that moves for change ??!!!

The Lord's Prayer for the Very Worn

The Lord's Prayer for the Very Worn

Not me trying to think up something clever, this is how I pray. I'm too weary or muddle headed to think what to say, or even feel'like saying anything, so I go for wheat Jesus said to say, that's good enough for me. But if I just recite it my brain will be elsewhere by line 2 so I try to say it like I feel I can be more simple or at least in a way that makes me think about what it's saying. So it comes out different every time. 

Just come sit with me a moments quiet. I like to just feel myself listen a little moment and catch a couple of breaths.

Dear Father God, somehow both not tied down by our human limitations yet fully understanding them. You're really special to us regardless of what our feelings are or aren't doing today. 

We can't begin to understand how you'd do it, but we want your kingdom to come and your will to be done in our little time and space bubble, however limited it seems to us it still counts, whatever hills and valleys we go through today. Please give us the strength and clarity of thought to be able to make any key decisions if needed and the courage to be able to say no and yes, to understand your will as much as we need to for today. 

Please provide for us and our nearest and dearest, we throw and chuck our burdens onto you because you've said that you care or us. Thank you. 💕

We invite you into our thought lives today. We're not asking to have no pain but we really want the grace to be able to forgive and receive forgiveness. 

Please protect and strengthen us, we are weak and vulnerable even on the days we feel full of it, let alone how we are now. Please help us to find comfort in healthy ways and places. Give us the strength to be able to stand against the evil one and having done all, to stand. Is armour uncomfortable in bed ? Maybe not yours. May your peace, utterly incomprehensible given the circumstances, keep our hearts and minds in the love and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

I find it so hard to grasp about your kingship, some times everything seems on the surface so out of control, but I believe and continue to hang on to the fact that 

* you have the authority to do what you think best, 

* you have the power and the wherewithall to get it done, 

and 

* you will get the credit you deserve, glory to you King Jesus.

I agree most wholeheartedly.